Authentic Validation

Nurtured Heart Tip #5

Authentic Validation

Our children long for us to see them and be present for them. How we respond gives our child a feeling for whether we are really present, really listening, or only half there and more caught up in our other thoughts and concerns. 

We want to give our children positive feedback, we want them to feel confident, but our generation of parenting has taken "good job" to the next level. 

We have used it for everything; we have used it so much that it is on automatic pilot, just coming out of parents' mouths, even if it doesn't really fit the circumstance . 

Our children can feel empty words,  words that lack true connection. When we choose words that are more accurate for the circumstance, our children can feel more fully acknowledged. 

Next time you want to say "good job", take a moment and think about what exactly they are doing, and how your feedback could be more accurate. Maybe a more fitting response would be..."that's very creative", "you are very considerate", "you are very resourceful", "you are very responsible", tenacious, committed, a hard worker...

When was the last time you were authentically validated? How did it make you feel?